I have lots to catch up on.
New York.
Work.
MEN.
My new kankle.
Birchbox.
Seriously so much stuff.
But there are some reasons why I've been hiding from the internet world.
I said goodbye, kicked him to the curb, and then found HIM.
I've been quite, because I don't need to vent.
I don't need the cyberworld to back up my feelings.
My deep emotional pain that I brought upon myself.
but now that I released that..
I'm happy.
I can see it, and so can my friends and family.
I finally found someone who I can trust with my heart.
And well he has it.
So let me explain....
I was hating myself.
I was stuck in a hole, craving this man to want me.
He didn't.
I'd spend the night at his house after driving his drunken ass home,
and he'd kick me out at 8am because he got a call from a girl from his mission.
She was on her way, and it'd "look bad" if I was there.
Despite the stench of alcohol on his breath.
I looked at him, and realized I was done.
I grabbed my purse, and proceeded to storm out of his house.
All the while, he's begging for at least a hug.
That was the last straw.
He had gotten his creep friend hooked on me,
and now he was kicking me out of his house.
There are WAY more stories that preceeded this,
but this was a turning point for me.
I realized, in that moment, that I would rather be alone for the rest of my life then be treated like that.
So I left.
Done.
And I was relieved.
My phone no longer buzzed often.
I sat at home and watched way more tv than I should have.
But I was happy.
Content.
Alone.
I had began hanging out with a new girl and we hit it off.
I'm so grateful for her!
She got me out of the house, and back to my normal self.
She decided that I needed to go on a date.
I agreed.
So she played matchmaker.
She set me up with her friend.
She showed me a picture, and at first I was not impressed.
He looked short with a cheesy smile.
later I found out that she told him that I:
"Just needed to go out on a date with a good guy"
"I'd been played pretty hard, and needed a break"
She sent him a picture of me.
This one.
and he was smitten.
:)
We decided on a double date.
He was late.
about 45 minutes late.
(he actually had a good reason)
But when he showed up..
with his PERFECT smile
his side swept blonde hair.
that black v-neck shirt.
those tan shorts.
and those black asics.
I was hooked.
We played tennis and we were winning.
I then proceeded to move slightly wrong and sprain my ankle.
BAD.
This poor boy, catered to my every whim.
Got me ice.
Helped me to the car.
Even though we both felt INCREDIBLY awkward.
We all went back to my house and as I sat there, fat ankle, iced and elevated...
and we all laughed.
over dollar ice cream.
I can't remember the last time I laughed like that.
This was July 3rd
Well, because of my HUGE ankle.
I couldn't walk much or drive at all.
Curse you stick shift! I couldn't get the clutch in.
So David asked if I wanted to watch the fireworks with him.
He came and picked me up, and helped my sorry self to the car.
We sat and waited, and waited and waited for the fireworks to start.
Now I talked.
This boy on the other hand, giggles.
He is a nervous giggler, and it took him a good week or so to not me intimidated by me.
I'm SOO happy that I waited.
Paitently for those giggles to subside.
We have been inseperable since then.
I have not gone a day with out at least talking to him.
I had an oppurtunity when David was with me at my house... and Shawn showed up.
Shawn came to watch some show with me but David was there.
Shawn threw the dvd at me and walked away.
I was so happy because at that moment in time I realized what I wanted.
I wanted my short, young, blonde haired, blue eyed boy.
NOT, the tall, older, model, with blue eyes dark hair, and perfect body.
Three weeks later, David asked the "what are we?" question.
I proceeded to tell him that I'd let him claim me if he was man enough to kiss me.
The next night, he kissed me.
I KNEW that, that kiss, was the start of something.
This last Saturday night he told me he loved me.
and I can honestly say,
I love him back.
David never fails to let me know he's thinking of me.
He ALWAYS tells me how pretty I am.
He never is short on compliments or words.
He is strong in the church.
He is respectful.
He is close to his family.
He knows how to treat a woman.
and he loves me.
He is smart.
He is determined.
He is a hard worker.
He doesn't care what other people think.
He is content with himself.
But not full of himself.
He is humble.
He wears great shoes.
He doesn't care if I wear heels and am taller than him.
And he doesn't care that in a few months I'll be 24, and he'll still be 21.
He has an infectious laugh.
He has an amazing smile.
He isn't afraid to work.
And he has an amazing family.
There is so much more to the story.
But its weird how in two months my heart has shifted from sad to overjoyed.
and how my life has switched from Shawn to David.
And how it took a hard time to realize how blessed I can become.
